How to Actually Make Friends Online

Discover our tried, tested, and authentic ways to make yourself some new BFFs on your platform of choice! Find people, start talking and befriend anyone today!

You've decided on your website or platform (or maybe a few) and have already gone through the trouble of sign-ups and verifications. But now that you're ready to start, you realized that actually to make friends means you still need to reach out. And that can be pretty terrifying to most people.

Making friends online isn't that much different from making friends in real life, for example, you still need to find people that share your interests, you need to reach out to those people yourself, and that kind of interaction can be pretty stressful, especially if you're already not the best with human contact.

But there's no need to be afraid, since making friends online is also quite different. We'll share what we think works best to get people's attention, ways to start conversations, and ways to stay engaged. We'll also give you some things to keep in mind that might lessen the stress caused by having to communicate.

Find a way to introduce yourself

On many message boards or social networks, there will likely be a place to introduce yourself to the community. This is incredibly common on forum websites like Reddit and other bulletin-boards, but social networks also have groups dedicated to this kind of thing if you search for them.

If you're looking to make friends with people in your country, city, state, or region, then searching for a local group or page might also yield some great results, and you'll be able to meet all kinds of people around you that you never knew existed!

Once you find a place to post and introduce yourself, try to write what's natural for you. Say a few things about yourself, maybe like your age and rough location (like country.) Give some neat facts about yourself, like what languages you speak, if you have any pets, and end it off with your interests and hobbies. Sports, music, and movies are all fantastic ways to find people who like the same things as you, and you can hope that someone will reach out to you if they want to talk too!

Interact with people and posts

Introducing yourself might yield some interest in you, but the majority of users might not even read your post and skim over it. To make yourself known in your communities, it's important to be engaging and interested. Keep interacting with people, and people will start to remember your name. If they like you and your thoughts, then they'll be more likely to reach out to you.

Find posts about what people are doing, or reviews or anything, and find ways to interact. Commenting on posts is excellent since it's more public, and everyone can see what you say, meaning you'll reach more people. But making your posts and threads will also get yourself the reach you need to find people.

Find people like you

These people don't need to be exactly like you, but after you're in your communities for a while, you'll begin to remember names, usernames, and generally what people are like or what they like. Once you recognize this, you'll be able to single out people who have the same interests, and you can start actually to reach out to people.

Most communities, platforms, networks, and websites have an option to directly message people, whether it be through their email or on the site itself. From here, you can choose to start a conversation with that particular user and finally make yourself some friends!

Start a Conversation

This is where the magic happens. This is also the part where people freeze up and lose interest.

Talking to someone new can be a bit terrifying, and if you've tried to make friends in real life, you'll know what we're talking about. Finding a way to open a conversation that isn't too cringy, trying to keep conversations going, and making sure you don't stutter or seem too nervous.

Well, it's much more accessible online. We'll get to why in a later section, but for now, let's work on actually getting a conversation going.

Depending on your partner's interests as well as yours (I hope you share at least some,) you may find different ways to open yourself up. If you both like basketball, ask if they watched last night's game between teams you like. If your partner likes music, ask them what genres, and what albums or songs are their favorite. Or maybe ask about movies, television, books, magazines, and other kinds of media.

This is probably the easiest way to start a conversation with someone that shares your interests. And that's why it's essential to find someone similar to you in that sense. Of course, you can try to make friends with someone who doesn't like the same things as you, but it will be a lot more challenging to find common ground, and your conversations might end up a bit dull since you both won't be interested.

Keeping the conversation going

Constant engagement might be a bit strange, but when you start talking to people a lot, eventually, you'll get close enough to call yourselves friends (or at the very least, acquaintances.) Stay up-to-date on your interests. If you both watch sports, then try to catch the game whenever you can. And if you don't, you can always ask your new friend if anything unusual happened during the match.

Don't wait for someone to message you, but don't seem too desperate for conversation. If you're the one always starting the conversation, then it might make you seem lonely or hopeless for attention. Wait to see if someone tries to talk to you first. If they don't, then they may very well not be that interested in talking to you, and as hard as it is, it's better to move on and try to find someone new to talk to.

But don't get your hopes down, maybe they'll come back sometime and try talking to you again. Perhaps they were just busy with their lives and didn't have time to message you.

Keep it interesting

After a while, talking about the same thing might get stale, so try to get adventurous. If your friend likes music, maybe start exploring new genres of music together, send them more original stuff, and try talking about that. If they love drawing, encourage them to set up portfolios or accounts where they can share their art. Or maybe ask them to draw something wild. Anything goes here, but keeping the same topics and conversations can get dull after five times, so be sure to spice things up now and then.

As you change your topics and talks, maybe your opinions on certain things will too. Have some banter, argue about your ideas, but stay light-hearted with it. Your friendship is now evolving to a much more steady one, and it'll be much more interesting to chat among yourselves online.

Getting comfortable

Like we mentioned, actually talking to people can be a bit of a daunting task for several reasons, but it does get exponentially easier over time. So we've got some tips for you to help you relax and remember how much easier it is to make friends online.

Remember that when talking online, you don't have to worry about stuttering. When talking to someone new in real life, you might get nervous, stutter when saying a simple phrase, then it'll get awkward. Or maybe you won't know what to say next when talking to someone, and it'll create an awkward silence.

When online, you don't need to worry about either of these.

When typing, you can't stutter, and you can always look over your messages before you send them to make sure it doesn't sound weird at all. And when you don't know what to say next, you can stay silent and reply when you're ready. If it takes you a long time, tell your friend you went to get a glass of water, or your pet demanded attention. It's much easier than it seems.

Also, finding people to talk to is a lot easier. Say you're sitting at McDonald's, and you see someone who looks cool, and you want to talk to them. If you do muster up the courage to speak to them and they don't seem to be interested in you, or you don't share any interests, then it might get awkward.

This is why when finding people online, you can get a general idea of what someone is like and what their interests are before you even talk to them. Just read over their posts, comments, or see what kind of things they reply to. Only by watching from a distance, you can get a much clearer idea.

As you get more comfortable with someone, it'll be much easier to talk to them, as conversations might come naturally, or you'll send each other a funny picture now and then. So don't worry if you're not best friends after talking once, it always takes time, just like meeting anyone new at your school or workplace.

Conclusion

These are fantastic tips to get you started with making friends and starting conversations, but as you begin to do it more and more, you'll find things that work for you as well. It all comes with experience, practice, and just what kind of person you are.

Our strategy is what works for us, and what generally works for most people. Maybe your platform of choice doesn't have the same specific communities that you're looking for, but in that case, you can always make one and find similar communities where people might share the interest.

Always be sure to stay safe online when meeting new people, but remember to keep an open mind and remain friendly!