Setting Boundaries on an Online Platform
Being online is great! You can meet other people, play games, buy stuff, and you have an immense amount of knowledge available for free. Many people enjoy using the internet for a variety of reasons for which meeting others is a popular one. Unfortunately, it’s not all fun and games on the internet.
There may be times in which someone makes you feel uncomfortable, tries to guilt-trip you, or wants you to do things you don’t want to do. Luckily, there are not many people like that. Still, it’s essential to set boundaries so you can easily remove yourself from such a person and/or situation.
Allow yourself to say no
You are probably familiar with this scenario: your gossiping colleague Karen has decided to add you on Facebook. Not knowing how to respond, you decide to wait until after your workday. When you arrive in the office, she’s already calling out to you;
“Have you seen my invitation? It would be SOOO great to be Facebook buddies!”.
As the day passes on, she keeps reminding you to accept her invitation and you start feeling more and more guilty every time. However, it’s your profile and it’s your life. If you prefer to keep work and social life private, you have all the right to do so. You can decline the friend request and if the other person decides to ask about it, you can always tell them, “I prefer to keep my social life and my colleagues/family/acquaintance separate. Most people will understand this. If they don’t, you can remind yourself that you don’t owe them anything.
Saying no can be very hard, but it’s also rewarding as you have to take care of your mental health too.
Set a time limit for yourself
The internet, but especially social media, can be mentally draining on us. We regularly see people posting pictures of their friends, their holidays, and themselves being happy. The idea that these pictures are the full reality can make us envious or even depressed. Therefore, it’s best not to spend too much time browsing your Facebook and Instagram timelines.
Set a daily limit for yourself of an amount of time you feel comfortable spending time on social media on. You can increase or decrease this time whenever you feel like it. However, having a limit helps you to take a moment to focus on other aspects of your life like reading, chatting with friends, studying, or working.
Don’t overshare
I know we’re inclined to show the best version of ourselves, but it doesn’t harm to keep some things private. During the holidays, there is always a massive surge in break-ins. This surge happens because many people post their holiday pictures and dates on their public social media profile, allowing criminals to take advantage of this. Another example is explicit photos. No matter how much the other person asks, you don’t have to share those photos. Doing so may cause them to be distributed online. Only share private pictures with people you actually know and trust, and even then, you need to be careful.
Oversharing information can be used against you in many ways. Therefore you need to make sure to keep track of what you share, where you share it, and with whom.
Keep track of everything
If you’d instead use your real name/face anyway, it may be helpful to keep track of everything you do online. This means that if you’ve shared a picture with someone, you can use search by image on Google to see if your photo is still private. Look up your name every now and then to see which websites and pictures pop up.
Also, if you have a feeling that someone has bad intentions. Screenshot and save the messages between the two of you (and their profile). While most cases end up unimportant, it’s always helpful to have evidence in case you need to report them.
Separate personal and professional
No matter how much you enjoy hanging out with your boss, it may be wise not to add them to your own friend list. That way, if your boss asks you to work extra and you can’t/don’t want to, you can do so without feeling guilty about going to a festival later that day. There have been plenty of cases of employees complaining about their work environment and being fired shortly after, I’m sure you don’t want the same thing to happen to you.
If you must, you can create another “professional” social media page on which you can add your colleagues and boss without all the fuss of your actual personal profile.
Stay anonymous
Of course, you probably have a closed Facebook page to keep in touch with your family. Still, you don’t need to be public everywhere you go. If you want to try a new platform, you don’t immediately have to use your real name and pictures. You can start by using an alter ego and cute (non-licensed) photo. This way, people have no idea who you are and are less likely to try and push your boundaries.
Use the “block” button
Lastly, many social media platforms have a block button for a reason. If someone just won’t take no for an answer and won’t leave you alone, the block button will help you to get rid of them. They won’t be able to see your profile anymore and can’t contact you. If they happen to know you in real life and escalate the situation, you can also report them to the (non-emergency line of the) police. This will help to keep you safe, while still being able to enjoy the internet for whatever purpose you intended it to.
Using the internet has both its perks and its cons. By setting boundaries beforehand, you will have a much smoother experience than if you don’t. Please don’t feel guilty about saying no or blocking people. In the end, you need to do what’s right for your own mental health, not the health of others.