The Best Ways to Get to Know Someone
Being online is a great way to meet new people from all over the world. Whether it's through a game, forum, or chat site. Sometimes, it can be hard to approach someone if you don't know if they are interested in making new friends/meeting new people. That’s why we set up a few tips for you to start a conversation and find out whether or not they want to be your friend.
Sparking a conversation
Before any form of communication can take place, you must first find out how you can contact the person you want to approach. If you are playing a game online, you can use their account name to find their profile and send a message. The same goes for a forum. When it’s a chat, you also often have the option to send them a private message as well as a public message.
How do you send that first message?
Sending the first message is the hardest of all the communication the two of you will have. That's why you want to make a good impression. Start by making a list with reasons why you want to approach that person. Do you like their gaming style, their profile pictures, or their personality? The reason it's important to figure that out is that while you will most likely receive a reaction when you send "hi!", it usually won't lead to a full-on conversation.
Finding out the reason you want to chat with someone makes for a more exciting opening and sparks a more in-depth conversation in the process. Let's say you're playing Overwatch and you love how they play as a specific character, you could start by sending a message telling them:
"Hi! I just saw you play as Mercy, and I loved how you did this [insert certain technique]. Would you mind telling me how you do it?".
Everyone likes being complimented, and they will most likely help you out. After that, you can ask to play together online now and then and chat in the meantime.
If you like someone's pictures or profile description, on the other hand, sending a message about a game won't help you. In this instance, complimenting someone still works, but you want it to be a conversation starter, not a solo-message.
"Hi there, I just noticed your profile and like your style. I'm into [insert something from profile or clothing] as well, would you like to chat sometime?”
Saying something like shows the other person that you're interested in them, but it's not a creepy message. If they are interested in you as well, they will reply, and you can continue your conversation.
Subjects to talk about
When the conversation first starts, you will usually be busy talking about the topic that sparked the conversation at first. However, after a while, you will both notice how the discussion seems to be slowing down to a stop. If you do not want this to happen, it's essential to keep it going. You can do this by finding subjects to talk about or asking questions. Please keep in mind that if the other person is not interested in continuing the conversation, you should not force it. It may be wise to find another person to talk to in such a case.
Here are some ideas to keep the conversation active.
Culture and language
If the person you're talking with is from another country, it's a fun idea to ask about their culture and language. You can then say something about your own as well. Perhaps they are even interested in learning a new language, giving you both the opportunity to teach each other a new language next to chatting with each other.
Food and drinks
This also applies to different cultures. You can ask someone about their favorite foods and drinks, asking how they prepare it and what makes it so unique. Sharing recipes is a great way to bond, and if you ever end up meeting each other, you can offer to cook them your favorite meal and the other way around.
Hobbies
This one is the most common topic when getting to know someone. Asking about someone’s hobbies helps you to get to know them better and offers them a chance to talk about something they are passionate about. Maybe you’ll even find out you have more in common than you initially thought.
Religion and Politics
While these topics may be a bit more sensitive, they can lead to interesting conversations. However, you need to be open-minded to other opinions than your own. The most important thing is to be friendly. If you notice the conversation taking a negative tone, you can switch to another topic.
Let's say you're a Christian and the person you're talking to is a Pagan, you can ask about how they got into contact with their beliefs and what they do to honor their god(s). In return, you can tell something about your religion and compare them to see what common grounds those religions are based on. The same goes for politics. If you are an American Democrat and you meet a Dutch “leftie”, you could ask them about their political system, what its positive points are, and what its negative traits are. What causes they support, and why.
Family and friends
How often have you seen your friends' parents in real life? Probably a few times. That's why you can always ask about the family and friends of people you're befriending on the internet as well. Ask them if they have any brothers or sisters, for example. Or what kind of pets they own and what pet they would want if they could choose any animal.
Additional tips
Most chat websites and in-game chats have rules you need to follow. Be sure not to cross any lines and to keep every conversation-friendly, whether you agree on something or not. If you and the other person have a great connection, you can eventually ask to chat through text or skype. Only do this when both parties feel comfortable doing so, you are always allowed to decline and so are they.
Lastly, it's okay if someone doesn't want to talk all the time. They have their own life, and there are plenty of other people to befriend. Conversations may be awkward at first, but as you spark more and more conversations, you'll see how easy it eventually is to get to know someone!