Taking Your Online Relationship to the Next Level

When you’ve met someone online with whom you have a great connection, you can eventually end up falling for them. While this in itself is a great thing, it may be a challenge to acknowledge these feelings when you're unsure of how the other feels about you. In such a case, it's essential to undertake action to show your appreciation of this person and to keep the flame burning!

Examine your feelings

Before you buy a ticket to visit your person of interest, it might be wise to check on your feelings first. What is it that you're truly feeling? Is it the excitement and thrill of meeting someone online, or are those butterflies in your stomach as a sign that you're falling in love?

What I recommend is for you to write down two lists. One list consists of your thoughts and the other one of your (physical) feelings. Don't be afraid to write them down, there are no wrong answers, and it's only for your eyes.

After you've written these lists, you can then examine the thoughts and feelings and see what they can be associated with. If your thoughts are mostly about the other person, hoping they like you back, wanting to be with them, and your feelings correspond with those (butterflies in your stomach, jumping heart when you see their message pop up, etc.), you may be falling in love!

Create a personal connection

While you may have become friends along the way, it's always a good idea to create a more intimate relationship between the two of you. What are media you use to communicate? If you've been texting for the most prominent part, you can suggest that the two of you skype every other week. Or even once a week. This way, you can see each other in real-time, which brings you closer together. It also allows you to talk directly at each other, preventing most forms of miscommunication, and making jokes will have more effect.

If you've already been skyping for a while, you can suggest sending letters to each other now and then. This creates a new kind of excitement as you never know when your letter will arrive or when the other has read it. In those letters, you can include photos you want to share, or maybe a snack that's only available in your area. You can buy a card or make your own. Make it as elaborate or short as you'd like!

Talk about your plans for the future

While this option falls mostly under the “create a personal connection” tab, it deserves to be mentioned by itself as well. Whether you already have a relationship and want to take it to the next level, or you want to know whether the other person likes you back, it's essential to talk about your plans and your feelings.

If you plan to meet the other eventually, tell them you would like that in the (near) future. Based upon their reaction, you will already see a glimpse of whether they would like that too. Remember that if they don’t want to meet yet, it doesn’t have to mean that they don't like you. Perhaps they want to wait until they feel comfortable enough.

It’s also important to talk about other feelings. Has this person helped you discover some new hobbies, talents or made you an overall happier person? Tell them! They will most likely appreciate the compliment.

Also, if you don't have a relationship already but wish you could have one, don't be afraid to tell them.

"Hey, we've been talking for a while now, and I've grown quite fond of you, and I wanted to let you know that I like you."

It's respectful, doesn't invade their privacy, and it doesn't urge them to say it back to you. You don't always need to receive an answer, just telling someone can be a gateway towards a great relationship.

Building trust

It’s important to trust each other online as well as in real life. If you are unsure of the intentions of the person you’re talking to, it’s not a good idea to share your address or other personal information. There can be cat-fishers online or scammers as well. There are a few ways in which you can find out whether a person is truthful/wants to get to know you.

If someone’s profile does not contain a lot of information, this can be seen as a red flag. The same goes for when you're asking about their lives, and they either avoid the question or give different answers each time (like age, interests, family, etc.).

When you're chatting with someone, and they seem to want to rush towards meeting you or chatting with a webcam, there is something off as well. If they were really interested in getting to know you, they would respect your need for taking it slow.

If you don't trust someone enough, it's okay to choose for yourself and cease contact. Do tell them why you want to quit having contact so that they can choose to alter their behavior to others online.

Meeting offline

When you've acknowledged your feelings for each other and want to take the next step towards your relationship, you can decide to meet up offline. Depending on how far away from each other you live, you could meet up for coffee or plan a city trip in which you meet each other for one day. Don't overdo it and plan to stay with them for a whole week, because if it doesn't work out, you could be having a very unpleasant holiday.

Always pick a public and safe location when meeting for the first time and tell them which identifying clothing you're wearing so that your (potential) partner can recognize you. Have a coffee, drink or dinner and talk about your trip, your plans and ask about the city.

If there’s a spark, you’ll notice, and maybe you've found yourself with a lifelong partner!